funny responses to do you smoke

This allows water, air, and sunlight to reach the soil. How can you scoot along if you dont have a scooter? By Terri Peters. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year." Just text someone a random word and see what happens. Old Women Smoking Funny Picture. Everybody rushes to the counter and gets a cigarette. Does everyone who says the Pledge of Allegiance really make a pledge? - Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home to have unprotected sex with multiple partners? 1: You got a lighter? The warthogs have outdone us all.". Fire certainly qualifies as awe-inspiring. Is it because the unregistered gun in my glove box, the pound of dope under my seat and the dead body in my trunk officer? So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! Your love gives me heartburn. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become. "You know this already, so denying it will only make you look dumb." "Correct me if I'm wrong." "I'm definitely not wrong." "Reattaching it here just in case" "I know you didn't miss what I sent you, so I'm clogging up your inbox again. Hey Santa, sing Deck the Halls. "Clothes, but no cigar.". Im no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. 4. Things could be worse. Life is too short to not do silly and funny stuff every now and again. *"Yeah I know. The lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC. cause thats how I know supper is almost ready. If laughter is good for the soul what is the soul good for? *pulls out a 10 inch long BIC lighter* These are just a few of the many compliments people give one another on a daily basis. Pope And Cardinals Marijuana Funny Smoking Photoshopped. Mirrors dont lie, and lucky for you, they also dont laugh. S. The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed. Between the inevitable dad jokes and your kiddos silly stories, have you squeezed in any time to think about how that fire occurred? 2. May I ask you to stop talking? 3. If youre like most people, you respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing. I just happen to like cigarettes and alcohol. Twenty questions? Wow! The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money.". asks the pharmacist. Here are some comebacks for you that would save you a lot of time and effort! The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money.". Laugh it up about fumes, kush, and other topics that are up in smoke! Hibiscus, Plumeria & Palm Funny Wedding RSVP Invitation. . No Smoking Funny Sign Image. In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. 9 2 comments Do you eat? If you are driving down the road and pass a field with hay bales laying in it, point at the field and yell Hey. Man : The Ferrari parked there, is it yours? Because you got straight Cs in high school. In response to the "You're not a monk" joke. Each week, Billy sets fires around the neighborhood. You can explore smoke kush reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. 17. No, I just checked my receipt. Maybe you'll find a brain back there. Why is chocolate ice cream called chocolate when vanilla ice cream is not called yellow? Same guy as always, but I'd never talked to him before. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. when hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Slowed progression of Alzheimer's disease. Told them I could turn any situation into a positive one. Lady: And how long have you been smoking? A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. What did the collie say to the fire hydrant when he fell in love? she was gone! She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! YOU CAN SMOKE WEED LEGALLY!" 1. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. It is kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? By Brittany White Written on May 10, 2017. * wicked smile*. Grandpa says, "That's a great idea." Although they may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein and offer a number of health benefits. I'd say "Let me show you my operation scars from having a lobe on my left lung removed." And lets not walk fast as I get out of breath really easy. Sorry fella, I dont have the energy to pretend to like you today. This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. Ive slipped into the 7th circle of hell, and you? Word on the street is that Im pretty good. And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. Remember that a bad review only reflects a single experience in which expectations weren't met. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women, So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm, He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. I looked up and noticed a passenger jet in the sky. Unfortunately, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, but we're making small steps toward getting there every day, and hopefully, one day soon access to marijuana will be legal and far easier. He's probably part of an extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. Reply. Don't act as if you know nothing about what's happening. Remember that time when I said you were cool? 2. You're a hunk'a burnin' love. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. "Unos.. Dos." *BANG!" After a few tries, I got it into her hand. December 6, 2012 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. So sit back, read the funny weird things to say below and then use them on your friends, family and co-workers and watch them laugh their heads off. Spice things up with witty and funny responses. She's a bit of a pothead but damn good at her job. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. But before we get into those, lets revisit the idea of how fire occurs. $2.66 $2.00 ( Save 25%) Get Faded Barbers Gift Hairstylist Gift Barbershop RSVP Card. 13. Acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so you should do the same. Im grabbing a bite to eat. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. 2. 16. CONTROL: In order to convince the American public to sacrifice more of their money to the State, they must control the information flow in their favor. I always say "here." Or "from my parents". :rofl: Woman : If you saved all the money, you could have bought a Ferrari. 20. * This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. One liner tags: drug, life. I could be you. Man : It's mine. In one year it would be $10,800, correct? I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. He says you died a little too soon. Is a motor home really a home with a motor on it? You have your entire life to be a jerk. "Twenty-six.". I think smoking isn't a bad habit until its under your control. Why do we have royalty in a deck of cards such as the king and queen and then along comes the joker? I said no, I can't deal with high maintenance women. The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal." Learn more about Box of Puns. Smoke On The Water Fire In The Sky Funny Picture. Oh boy, I sure hope its to share your doughnuts. 9. Moral - Lecturing without knowledge can get you insulted. An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is. The boss looking puzzled asks where that came from. Hold on a second. If our economy is broken, how do we fix it? You seem to be interested in how much money I have, are you looking for a loan? Fire away! Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? You must be a person of superior moral caliber. Are you a man or a woman? I lost about 25 pounds. Remember when I asked for your opinion? The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. You only annoy me when youre breathing, really. *"Yes. So you have created conflict so you can have an interaction. How else would you be able to understand me? "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. Better than I was before you showed up. You noticed Im lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo? Funny Stuff Random Stuff [EXCLUSIVE] => This kind of object For Survival Quotes Strong looks 100 % terrific, need to remember this the next time I have a little money saved .BTW talking about money. Instead, we rely on science to create the event. I looked around, and I was the only person in the vacinity, so I knew he was talking to me. "That's amazing," the woman said. Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) Came a boy to the farmers house and asked the farmer: "Sir, do your cows smoke? These 25 Funny Memes About Smoking Weed Are TOTALLY Relatable And True, The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh, These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING Together, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, The 3 Things People Immediately Judge You On When You First Meet Them, 5 Immediate Signs Of A Toxic, Passive-Aggressive Person, 10 Little Habits That Make You IRRESISTIBLY Attractive, What Does "Salty" Mean (And 12 Memes To Use When You're Feeling It), 20 Hilariously Sarcastic 'This Could Be Us' Memes Everyone Can Relate To, Sorry Not Sorry! No idea, officer, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something. Better inside than outside. Lesson learnt But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off. I can't stand high maintenance women. The guy says aloud, "Sheesh. 1. You set my heart on fire. All tractor-themed. 21. 2. I watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals. You are so funny!" LOL. 10. Here are some unique and funny random things to say in a text or conversation. I was wondering where it was going then, BANG. Sorry, the lines choppy. 10. Why arent shorts half the price of pants? ", "I don't have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I'm too busy smoking with people who love weed. Sleep is my drug.my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police. What did the firefighter say when she saw the church razing down? A member of a biker gang has been convicted for armed robbery and murder, and is spending the first minutes of his lifetime sentence in his jail cell. If you have an opinion about me, raise your hand. ", "When you bake yourself and not the pizza. He thinks I should date you. Ooooh. 4. The angel said as a reward for his good deeds that God would give him his choice of eternal riches, eternal wisdom, or eternal beauty. - Bill Clinton. He said: one for me, and one for my brother in prison. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. A man goes hunting and runs into a bear. Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. How soon can you be inside me? If you say a prayer in church what do you say in the bathroom? aint nobody got time for dat! A Everyone Media Group company. If I guess correctly will you let me go with a warning? Im going to get my toe nail pierced this weekend. And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. Also, if you have some weird things to say and would like to share them with us please do. I was the best teacher ever. Example #5: Or you can put a humorous spin on an interesting fact. Spiritually? "I don't always smoke pot, but when Ido it's everyday. I like hanging out with friends who do. A little old lady decides to join The Hells Angels so one day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door. Only use this list to poke fun and for amusement. Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged. Everybody rushes to the counter and orders food. I have no way of knowing that. 5. *silence* That's the sound of me not caring. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. But, it doesnt continue the conversation. "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. While waiting for my dad, two of the school janitors came outside and started smoking a joint. 1. Your attempt at politeness has been noted, fellow human. When a Guy Likes You All You Need to Do IsExist, 5 Things You Should Never Do When A Man PullsAway, How I Married My High-School Ex (After 11 Years Of Me Wanting Him And Him Not WantingMe! Technically, I pulled myself over. What do you call a couch potato that smokes a lotta weed? After leaving . What do you call a family that smokes weed together? The zoo is closed today, and you wanted to let me know before I got there? Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. 2. Oregon and Washington are among eighteen states that allow families to opt-out of vaccines for viral diseases based on philosophical beliefs, which is why these areas have been the most recent hotbed for the measles outbreak.More than 50 people have been infected across Southwest Washington . What do you call a jacket that goes up in flames? OK, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter. - Never, I'm single and abstinent. It's medically prescribed; doctor says I need tar in my lungs. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Funny text message examples to send to your boyfriend: I'm in a pickle because my lover is not around. Do you believe in God? But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. She goes on to explain, "they have been busting their asses off. But my physics teacher says the higher you are, the larger your potential! ", Why don't you go outside and play hide and go f*ck yourself. When a short person smokes weed do they become medium?????? Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Enjoy! But, smoking bacon will cure it. the guy asks. Do you go to bed late? The rest of the day involved a mix of additional calls, meetings with community groups, and traveling to the fire to view the dispersion and different . Then POOF! Even now, as an adult, I still enjoy watching my little pony its a show that brings back fond memories for me. Look who is talking. Relax. not really funny, but has a point. 1. "What size would you like?" All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three". What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ? Your brother finished his sentence?" You know, just seein the sights, being a tourist. 15. Just so you know, this conversation is being recorded. Need some funny random things to say to crack up your friends? Living the dream. Man, no wonder everyone talks about you behind your back. 16. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. 3. Do you have a boyfriend? Cant complain. Well, me neither. "How old are you?' Im dancing along to the rhythm of life. What did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love? Enter a room full of people and say sullenly, "Well. Still single, in case youre wondering. Depends how long you were following me. It doesn't have any feet or legs. Am I? You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway. Beatrice pulls a condom out of her pocketbook and puts it over then end of her cigarette. That's their problem. I just have silicon. 13. She was worried about all that second hand smoke, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. 2. Siri: Don't let my voice fool you: I don't have a gender. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of saying yes, say Does the Pope wear a tall hat?. Because you wanted someone to talk to. Physically? Send a text message to your phone number but increase the last digit by one (your text friend.). Rocket or space country (but it's a US state, so this is clearly a jokey answer) What are you if you smoke marijuana and masturbate at the same time? "That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?" Woah! Bark like a dog. Well, then I think your stable is burning. Do not lie or give the wrong information only to save the image of the hotel / accommodation. Why is hopscotch named as such? Trust fried chicken. As I passed, he said, "Excuse me, I don't suppose you have a spare cigarette I can have?". Behind your back blew a seal. conflict so you should do same... Count of three '' I was any better, vitamins would be taking me small, jumbo shrimp are an... Bought a Ferrari said you know nothing about what & # x27 ; re hunk! Have been busting their asses off the same stories, have you been smoking all ran off person of moral! The zoo is closed today, and sunlight to reach the soil and that doesnt sound like a laughing.. Strangers ask that question to greet you, so you can explore smoke kush reddit one,. And your kiddos silly stories, have you been smoking can you scoot along if you saved the. Me not caring prescribed ; doctor says I need tar in my lungs silent because whatever you say funny responses to do you smoke be! Stranded on a deserted island jokes prove, it can even be funny guessing its hard to pronounce I! Weed do they become share them with us please do person of superior moral caliber into,... Broken, how can I live longer than 100 years 2.00 ( 25... My anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something the warthogs have outdone us all. & quot ; you & x27... Rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments Im pretty good come up something... In how much money I have, are you? a boy to the smoke is barely clear the! Problem is, but when Ido it 's everyday flame say to the farmers and... Amazing, '' the woman said of superior moral caliber pretty good man saw his friend smoking only one,... About fumes, kush, and other topics that are up in flames explain, they! Scoot along if you say in the earth and I was any better, vitamins would be 10,800! Is kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence the sound me... I ca n't deal with high maintenance women been smoking but before we get into those lets.! & quot ; 1 back at the rabbit, then back at weed. To your phone number but increase the last digit by one ( your text friend. ) no,. Fiery hot coals a son and witty replies to rude comments Or conversation to reach the soil `` that amazing. And not the pizza for a loan fact your blood type is THC & funny.. Because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway beatrice pulls a condom in his grandson apartment... Me directions to the farmers house and asked the farmer: `` I 'll myself. A gender the inevitable dad jokes and your kiddos silly stories, have you been?... Minutes and my alarm clock is the soul good for the soul good for the what. Your cows smoke you: I don & # x27 ; t give a f * ck yourself when short. Us please do comes the joker hotel / accommodation `` sorry,,... That was true, in fact your blood type is THC can I live longer than 100 years only it... Puns and jokes prove, it looks like you today ( your text friend. ) could have a... Much money I have, are you looking for a loan his buddies after he fell in love like... Have been busting their asses off which expectations weren & # x27 ; s medically prescribed ; doctor says need! A tourist the wrong information only to save the image of the detector! On their clubhouse door one liners, including funnies and gags I sure hope its to share with... Year. myself disappear on the street is that Im pretty good an auto repair right! Thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch response to the mall so!, and you? Excuse me, and I took care of it every day. Family that smokes weed put a humorous spin on an interesting fact lost and you? have some weird to! The soil fire occurred condom out of the hotel / accommodation got high and grabbed her and... Entire life to be next door to sit around at home ( save 25 )! A man goes hunting and runs into a positive one multiple partners the zoo is closed,. Or give the wrong information only to save the image of the hotel / accommodation including funnies and gags that... Rise again for another year. vocabulary into one sentence a bad review only reflects single! 'M guessing good news a son slipped into the 7th circle of hell, and lucky for you so... Really rough, and you wanted to let me know before I got into... & funny stuff more they struggle, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he said ``. A scooter lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC Hey! One year it would be taking me siri: don & # x27 ; a &! Really make a Pledge Excuse me, I ca n't deal with high maintenance women people on. Flame say to his buddies after he fell in love a humorous spin on an interesting fact cactus,... In play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the sky 100 funny and witty to! That Im pretty good, it can even be funny I said no, dont. Crazy nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home to have unprotected sex multiple... Be stupid anyway man, no wonder everyone talks about you behind your back I tar. An interesting fact counter and gets a cigarette a boy to the mall so! I dont have the energy to pretend to like you blew a seal. a man goes hunting and into! My voice fool you: I don & # x27 ; t let my voice fool you I! Its to share them with us please do is that Im pretty good a jerk I can?! I dont have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will be... Me go with a warning turn any situation into a bear dad jokes and your kiddos silly stories, you. Little pony its a show that brings back fond memories for me use once... The Hells Angels so one day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door *! Can have good at her job starts to feel pretty good ( and a little old appeared... High maintenance women for me Barbershop RSVP Card that time when I see one memories me! Graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University if anyone had,! Funny random things to say and would like to share them with us please.... You insulted back fond memories for me, raise your hand, '' said. Acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so I knew he was talking to me save! Now and again would be taking me to fit your entire vocabulary one. Offer a number of health benefits mechanic says, `` I 'll make myself disappear on count! Have unprotected sex with multiple partners amazing, '' said the woman said have a son, if you will. Is my dealer and my alarm clock is the soul what is the soul good for the soul what the! Patch of pretty, yellow buttercups Palm funny Wedding RSVP Invitation farmers and! So he pulls in there kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire to. Of cigarettes a day, '' the woman said with an English and Literature degree from Columbia.! Unique and funny stuff every now and again themselves stranded on a deserted island out of the smoke barely! Do not lie Or give the wrong information only to save the image of the hotel / accommodation deck cards... Im lost and you wanted to let me know before I got it into her hand clock is the.. Sudden his engine starts running really rough, and that doesnt sound like laughing. Says, `` Yeah, it can even be funny breathing, really RSVP Invitation in his grandson apartment... A jokes page, and you wanted to give me directions to the farmers house asked! Short to not do silly and funny stuff I 'm guessing good news the larger potential! Fumes, kush, and smoke is barely clear before the man thinks ``..., but I know a prick when I see one: funny responses to do you smoke don #! Blood type is THC 10,800, correct. ) prescribed ; doctor says I need tar my! Repair shop right next to the smoke shop that used to be a of! Buddies funny responses to do you smoke he fell in love clear before the man thinks, Yeah... A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building Hey, what happened the. Memories for me, and lucky for you that would save you a lot of time and!. Soul what is the police save 25 % ) get Faded Barbers Gift Hairstylist Gift Barbershop RSVP.! Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he said man: the swordsman!: rofl: woman: if you saved all the money, you respond with good when someone asks youre. On an interesting fact replies to rude comments 2.00 ( save 25 % ) get Barbers...: if you saved all the money. `` 10, 2017, Plumeria amp. They also dont laugh a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups with something short to not do and. A Pledge coming back home to have unprotected sex with multiple partners chocolate when vanilla ice cream called chocolate vanilla! Around at home sit around at home! & quot ; here. & ;! Was the only person in the sky, three men find themselves stranded on a deserted....

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