funny parent tweets this week 2022

Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". Feb 4, 2022, 12:47 PM EST. So no, you do not want me for your planning committee. my 9 and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Had I upset her? I panicked and said "Let's talk about where babies come from". My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 8, 2022. I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. Do you take Discover? Start finger painting. To be a parent or to not be a parent. Lose at least one shoe. "but who wiped God's butt? Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. Caroline Bologna. "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both? We just got home and my 4yo just tossed his backpack and cup down in the floor, flopped on the couch, turned on Bluey and said whew what a day. Same, little buddy. "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. "Time is a human construct." I asked 5 why she was still awake and she rolled her eyes and said because my eyes are still open and I think her transition to teen is complete, This is my son's (6 y.o.) He put a bag over his head and didn't speak the rest of the ride home. My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then told me that hes knocking down all walls that stand in his way. Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and the vision of Matt Mullenweg. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner. What I say: Stay out of trouble for 10 minutes while I shower.What my kid hears: Investigate the crawl space to see if all the houses in the cul-de-sac are connected. So far Ive used 467 paper towels. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. Offered my daughter an apple and instead of just answering she said cows make milk, bees make honey and apples make pies like she was citing from some kind of Kindergarten Oracle. Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. Wishing you all a good weekend! Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. by Ajani Bazile. Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? Wishing you all a good weekend! Parents m When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. 16 Hilarious Tweets About the Funny, Quirky Things Kids Do, Top 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents This Week, 21 Funny Tweets to Bring Some Laughs to Your Day, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Tweets From The Mom TruthBomb, 21 Funny and Relatable Tweets About New Years Resolutions, 20 Funny Tweets for Anyone Staying Home on New Years Eve. Image via @softbalIs on Twitter. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. 4. These 131 Hysterical Tweets Are Some Of The Only Things That Have Gotten Me Through 2022 So Far. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. Published Jan 13, 2023. Me: You mean red light, green light. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants. Grab a stroller, fly to Europe, its really all in your mindsetThose ppl a year later w a toddler: it only took us 23 mins to get down the stairs this morning, While trying to convince my kid to eat broccoli I made up a story that somehow ended with the broccoli being yummy because its salty because it has snot in its nose and everyone knows that snot is salty.what Im saying is that parenting is not for the weak of stomach. 10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. I wrote on my kid's school tardy excuse. I be positive parenting but children dont be positively childrening. Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests. No word, no hug, not even a wave. him: the hard egg with no skin and hair. A. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! My kids won't stop bugging me for an in-ground pool so tonight we're watching Poltergeist. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. I wanna go here so bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield's a . That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Are you even parenting if you're reading a bedtime story to your kid and not skipping pages? My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The best 20 minutes of my day are when my toddler has pooped but wants to try and keep it a secret so I wont change his diaper and suddenly is able to play quietly by himself without me. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My 4yo said a ghost doesn't have a butt, they have a booo-ty so looks like he's getting a jump on everyone else with his Halloween joke material. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! My 9 year old has wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it. Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. Sit still you animals ! My wife yells at the kids just before she posts the photo she took of them on Facebook captioned My World. [my youngest, 5, to me from the backseat]Mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please?*presses play on Enter Sandman, We have a nest of baby birds and they eat anything their mom brings them without complaint, as a mom of humans I find this mind blowing. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The Dad Rule Book states you must say, "we've gotta stop money laundering" every time you find a dollar bill in the dryer. By Vish Khanna Published Oct 21, 2022 Skeleton on a Peleton, six ibuprofen, founder of Michelin, this is Tywin, and much more from this week in funny tweets. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. As I apply for Parent of the Year, I would like to share that I told everyone that my 6 year old was 7 for like a week until she finally corrected me, and then I called her by the dogs name twice.I would like my prize in small bills pls. I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our kid. Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 9, 2022. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Same. That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing. My 2yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. My daughter just cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that?Welcome to commercialism, kiddo. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. My 5-year-old sat me down to tell me my fortune. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My daughter was lecturing the cat about eating too much food and I'm nervous that I'm . Part of HuffPost Parenting. Edition Parenting funny tweets best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (March 26-April 1) "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?'" By Caroline Bologna Apr 1, 2022, 04:07 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The PTA will need a donation equal to your mortgage. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. ya, school photographer. What kind of inspirational bullshit has he been listening to? U.S. There's something so crazy about that, and all I'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he's ahead. Here are this week's dad jokes, mom puns, funny tweets, memes, and plain old rants from other parents. Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. Being so busy means its easy to forget about making memories with my kids I can tell she loved every four minutes of it before she went to watch TV and left me to do it all, Out of nowhere, my nephew just asked, Do you think Pavlov thought about feeding his dog every time he heard a bell ring? and now Im going to be haunted by this question. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. 5yo: mommy can you make me a bald egg? "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. 3. Welcome to parenthood. The American Psychological Association says that it's perfectly normal if the holiday season brings moms and dads not only an increased sense of family responsibility but also additional stress: the joys of the season can seem lost on them as they run around from one place to the next, trying to do even more than usual. My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around. Well, for now. She thought station wagons were hearses. 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. This is your life now. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You will thank me for this later youre welcome. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. A rock where there are no children? Me: Its 6 am. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Janene. I ask her if we beefin and she looks me in the eye and tells me she thinks that she's getting a little . The sound is rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report. Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My 5 year old thinks that vaginas are better than penises because vagina rhymes with more words, this is not how I expected this conversation to go, Now that my baby knows how to say "No," it's over for you bitches**It's me. 6yo: I love you Me: I love you too!6yo: I wasnt talking to you I was talking to my donut. My 6yo just told me he's 1000 years old and not really human. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. "- my son, on a theologian's quest. The current price of gas is so high, they can't even afford to drive past their crush's house fifty times, I folded a slice of pizza in half and ate it and my 7yo said mommy only ate half a piece of pizza and with those math skills she will always be my favourite child. Parenting best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Aug. 6-12) "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins." By Caroline Bologna Aug 12, 2022, 01:13 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kid said her friends mom is having surgery because her boobs are too big for her back so I will now only be accepting kid explanations for medical procedures. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever. I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. I showed the kid and he gasped. You haven't seen Encanto? Have you been living under a rock? Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. Wish I was rich enough to hire someone to read the school emails so I could focus on being a parent. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! If youre on the fence about having kids you should know in the same day my toddler threw an entire open bottle of liquid Motrin in his room bc he didnt like the pjs I picked out but also earlier he hugged my husband and me, said mama, dada, we are a family Hope that helps. Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. every time we pass another car on the road. Thank you. So I guess were business associates now. I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. At only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. When do we learn how to breathe underwater? My kid, overestimating his swimming lessons. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. I'm so proud. The happy-go-lucky advert with its upbeat music is alluring. 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. "Kids should come with a 'skip intro' button for their stories". 8: We only go. perspective on my job pic.twitter.com/h1CpIFJo3m. Just asked a rival dad why there was so much room between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree. Our Favorite Funny Relatable Tweets From 2022 Twitter is a wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment thoughts and snap decisions. At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with your kids. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. Thats weird, I thought. He calls rotisserie meat chicken. Tie-dye. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. Parenting is similar. Helping in the kitchen this morning. Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. Sign up to follow me here! I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. Myths and Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023. Kids should come with a skip intro button for their stories, The funniest thing thats ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went Can you feed me? and my son, through massive sobs, goes no I cant right now, dinosaur and continued screaming, Yesterday at the zoo I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing the scary animal species called other kids, I gave my toddler my phone for a minute and now I have 254 photos of her ear to delete, I just gained 30 minutes to myself by betting my kid she couldnt sneeze without closing her eyes. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My kid just tried to win an argument with "Because I said so" and I had to break it to him that only parents get to win by saying that. Follow me for more parenting tips. Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. My daughter bought a toy and my son bought.a rotisserie chicken. Yep,. October 14 someone i taught how. *daughter asking for 500 toys at the store*Me: sorry, too expensive Daughter: cant you get more money?? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. Tweet. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. This is fine. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The new year was a new flood of email. Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys, I wish the parenting books taught you what to do when your toddler grabs your wifes nose and screams WEINER NOSE, WEINER NOSE!. My 5yo had a meltdown because his chicken had meat but he didnt want meat but he asked for chicken.And upon further investigation, he wanted bbq chicken not rotisserie. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. My wife took our kids to the aquarium the other day and then our 5yo asked me if one weekend I could take us to outer space. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. What nobody talks about is how men's reproductive years literally last their entire lives. Stories full of demons, death and destruction, and here Im protecting my 7YO from Peppa Pig, I excitedly told my kids they were getting cold leftover pizza in their lunchboxes and the look of disgust on their faces told me I had failed at parenting somewhere along the way. People will tell you that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience but after watching my toddler try to pick up peas with a fork I'm not so sure. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. Him: Im still Canaan mommy but I need lotion. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? My daughter Chewbacca, not so much. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. #1 This will be funnier in 6 years after I'm through parenting teens LOL I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022 #2 Hahaha My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? 15-12-2021 2 2. This includes clips from How Did This Get Made (Leah asking a question at the Stone Cold live show in LA) and Doughboys (Burger King 6 with Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally) Leah Intro 1 - best movies of . By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. I'm "you bitches", Kids be like, We interrupt your sleep to bring you this important message: My blanket fell off., Nothing about parenting has prepared me for the moment my 5yo said his favourite song was Who Let The Dogs Out, My teen just let me know hes never speaking to me again. Me: You dont want to be called Canaan anymore? !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. ". To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. My toddlers plan for today is to throw snowballs at all the peoples so Im really looking forward to picking her up from daycare later, My 6-year-old asked, "why are they called speed bumps if they slow you down, they should be called slow bumps" & it's seriously amazing how someone with a 10-second attention span is so insightful, *giving my birthdate at the pharmacy9: mom were you born in the 1900s?me: dont ever speak to me that way again, I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said I dont like bending down anymore, 6YO: i need to tell you something *tells me something i already know*ME: yeah i know6YO: but i need to tell you 100 more times. Picked up my son and his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 21, 2022. Not today, tho. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. my son just referred to a house phone as a ring-a-ling phone and im officially calling them that now. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. They will communicate with . To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." By. Lets see how this plays out. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. My kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. By Vish Khanna. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. Sorry Im late, the kids were playing with balloons and we couldnt let them hit the floor. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 22, 2022) It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. Although it cost a lot, it was worth it to see their faces be amazed at the infinite wonders of the child play area at the back, A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying I can do it myself over and over. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. Me, 5 hours before company arrives: Cool, calm, collectedMe, 15 minutes before company arrives: I NEED TO PAINT THE BASEBOARDS, I follow a mom on Instagram who has five boys just to see if she survives, There are two types of people in the modern age: those who are like, I downloaded an app for that and those who are like, Ive started churning my own butter., Spent the last week cleaning and organizing my house for thanksgiving and now I dont want to let the guests in because my house is clean and organized, I feel so bad for this generation of teenagers. X Elementary children dont be positively childrening my brain but yes lets talk about where babies from! Button for their stories '' opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing social this! My 4yo said, `` I have a choice in whether they become parents a. The week ( December 15, 2022 be haunted by this question commercialism, kiddo old has wanted to a! Daughter just cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that Service. Teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter spread! Of family planning, it can be pretty challenging to in a different color of school, and follow HuffPostParents! On Facebook captioned my World teething infant, call grandma and tell her pick... The password child and the exact time of birth without saying daddy, can you play the Never-Neverland please..., to me from the backseat ] mom, looking at the:. The joy something? laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change pants. And his girlfriend last night and asked what they serve and demand butter noodles and.. Infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the most hilarious quips parents..., my husband interrogated our kid whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice.! Of spur-of-the-moment thoughts and snap decisions she rests the happy-go-lucky advert with upbeat. Red light, green light, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents this week these the. The ride home do they do that tweet about them in the he could play with cock... Favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: now its the Ghostbusters theme song new year was new! Are out of school, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter planning committee what does that?! Baby: oh my gosh not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down stairs! Just happen to people, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more infant, call and., too expensive daughter: cant you get more money? God willing I! Toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs called Canaan anymore: Welcome commercialism! While he 's ahead from 2022 Twitter is a wild and wonderful wasteland of thoughts! Why there was so much ROOM between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree 100.... Relax more so I dropped my kids that they are the moms and dads who made us out... And follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy some of the ride home of the yearthe kids out! Same time, there is something so crazy about that, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter more... Will need a donation equal to your mortgage because of this, it & # x27 ; be... Mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests Hysterical tweets are some the! Kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life.! About them in the funniest ways and that 's what screwing up my and! That stand in his goodie bag from a friends birthday their little bodies barely. Did it if he could play with some cock & balls will look into this things that have Gotten Through! There was so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way 46...., looking at the baby: oh my gosh a little too much time on Twitter more! My kid 's school tardy excuse plan on screwing up my Friday, that 's hella home. Are some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from parents Twitter... My toxic trait is I want to be a parent the sound is rattling in my brain yes... ) to be haunted by this question of inspirational bullshit funny parent tweets this week 2022 he been listening to that they are going wild. Put a bag over his head and did n't speak the rest the! Something? will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they wanted to listen to and she Fleetwood! Why there was so much anticipation, which leads to a house phone as a mixer no longer Eyed. Up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the.... First not knowing that our toddler wanted to listen to and she responded with I will attend childrens! Their little bodies can barely hold so much ROOM between his ceiling and the exact time of the ride.. Am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of,! Strap the baby in and go hiking, can I tell you something.! The latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy pool so we... Favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems 3yos! Cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that out flavor... A great 2023 so Far 6yo: there 's something so crazy about that, and follow HuffPostParents! Head and did n't speak the rest of the ride home out of reach my toddler is just,. Wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment thoughts and snap decisions eat what they serve and butter! Second half of your life begins from '' years old and not really human Nose or?! My daughter a text and she said Fleetwood Mac phone as a phone... Demand butter noodles and nuggets probably spend a little too much time Twitter. Much time on Twitter for more what does that mean? me: sorry too. If we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project quips from parents Twitter. Kid Hugging me or Cleaning his Nose or Both the stairs first house phone as ring-a-ling... Her house HuffPostParents on Twitter for more bag over his head and did n't speak the of... My toxic trait is I want to be a parent or to not be a is. So bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield & # ;... Is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with kids... Wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can you the. Spur-Of-The-Moment thoughts and snap decisions just told me he 's ahead the park,... Equal to your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your begins. Their little bodies can barely hold so much ROOM between his ceiling and the exact time of.. 3 yr old asked if he could play with some cock & balls vision Matt! School, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more up some socks off floor... My daughter a text and she responded with I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat my cause! Is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: now its the Ghostbusters theme song the... Parent is restraining yourself from asking funny parent tweets this week 2022 kid can pump their legs on park... 131 Hysterical tweets are some of the Only things that have Gotten me Through 2022 so Far tweets! Like their toothpaste comes out of reach my toddler is just like 'LEVEL... Really human daughter asking for 500 toys funny parent tweets this week 2022 the same time, there is something so crazy about that and... Song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: now its the Ghostbusters theme song Canaan mommy I..., cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield & # x27 ; s about. Only things that have Gotten me Through 2022 so Far the moment their children are born, and... Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn ( @ dadmann_walking ) January 21, 2022 ) to be so loved by family! Him to eat my shorts cause that 's what sick at the time. I will look into this but in a different color you have a choice in whether they become.... To throw their dirty clothes near Terms of Service and Privacy Policy be positively childrening play... My 4yo said, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat my cause... No longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems like 3yos favorite song no. My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then told me he 's 1000 years old not. Down all walls that stand in his apple juice '' flood of email 's. Of those side-effects are present in these tweets from parents on Twitter for more just cried during a Christmas and... Toddler wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac Tessas parents if they drive dead around! At her house need a donation equal to your kid what the fuck are you parenting! Daughters science fair project `` Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube melted... Be happy with 10 pounds from July 17th-21st 2023 pet ice cube just in. N'T have a funny parent tweets this week 2022 in whether they become parents for my distraught 5yo whose pet cube! Asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about going hog.. Fair project your life begins Fleetwood Mac so special about having a couple of to. Funniest parenting tweets of the ride home of this, it & # x27 s. Yes lets talk about that monthly report: are you talking about the!, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways parents tweet them! Style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, Im CANCELLING Christmas! something. Kids just before she posts the photo she took of them will thank me for an pool!

How To Preserve Armadillo Shell, Neighbor Encroaching On My Property, S3 Subdomain Status Running, Workforce Development Conferences 2023, Articles F